13 Signs You're Attending Too Many Conferences

13.

Your elevator pitch is so practiced that coworkers take the stairs whenever they see you.

You’ve gotten it down to 45 seconds flat, including a pause for gasps and applause. Your delivery is perfect. Why is everyone suddenly on a take-the-stairs health kick?

12.

You’ve developed a vitamin D deficiency from always being inside conference rooms.

I can haz outside?

11.

“Dongle” is a business-appropriate term.

But… without the right dongle, your presentations are useless!

1o.

You scored enough travel points to vacation somewhere great–and it’s all about who has the best wi-fi and free breakfast.

You don’t have an internet problem.

9.

You’ve never bought a pen or mug in your life.

Your china cabinet is a jumble of logos.

8.

You have no problem making the hotel lobby into your personal living room.

Ooo! Free cookies!

7.

Your instincts–not the clock–tell you when a session is is about to end so you can sneak out and avoid the restroom line.

You can smell the closing statements of the keynote a mile away.

6.

Half-asleep, you press a number for room service… and your husband says ‘no’.

It’s a muscle memory thing.

5.

The word “booth” no longer resonates as a seating option at a restaurant.

“I’ll be your server. May I scan your badge?”

4.

You won’t step out the door of your hotel room without consulting your event app.

Only n00bs try to get around with a flimsy paper map. Get the Guidebook already, people.

3.

All your t-shirts are from companies you’ve never heard of.

When life hands you a shirt with a monkey on it, you take the shirt.

2.

You use the word “swag” or “tchotchke” with a straight face when handing your child trash.

When your kid’s first word is “Microsoft” it might be time to stop.

and of course…

1. 

Your suitcase is never unpacked.

You’re on the road a lot… but you know how to make the most of it.

Thanks to the conference-going contributors who weighed in on the travelin’ life!

Michele Aymold, Director of Marketing, LearnCore
Maggie McCombs, Content Marketer, Creative Lodging Solutions
Nathan Beckord, CEO, Foundersuite software for entrepreneurs
Charlene Yin
Joan L. Eisenstodt, Eisenstodt Associates, LLC
John Monarch, Direct Outbound Services LLC